I'm Not Depressed But I'm Not Happy


This article is a follow up to the depression test you can take here:

Am I Depressed? Take The Test Here

Result: Nil Depression


It seems that, from your answers, you’re probably not depressed but you may be feeling a bit low.

The good news is that, so does everyone else from time to time.

I’m always relieved when I hear that I’m amongst friends and I’m not the only one with those feelings. I hope you are too.

Still, you took the time to answer the questions so maybe you're having a few bad days. Perhaps you were wondering if it’s anything serious and what you could do to feel better?

Feeling low for someone who doesn’t normally suffer from depression can seem a bit scary but here’s the thing: you WILL revert to normal.

Low mood symptoms for someone who’s never had depression can mimic the symptoms of depression but there are two differences:

  1. The person who’s never suffered depression is likely to feel angry about it as opposed to the person who HAS suffered in the past and who might feel numb or sad

  2. The low mood will lift in a few days whereas the depressed person may find no relief after 2 weeks

Rest assured, this is a temporary situation you're in. Your symptoms will change up in time.

If you think your low mood maybe related to your childhood, here's an article which may help: If You Were Raised In A Dysfunctional Family How To Overcome The Unspoken Rules

An Exercise To Treat Your Low Mood: SURRENDER

Letting go gives us freedom and freedom is the only condition for happiness ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Surrender to lift our mood and, as crazy as it seems, really works.

This isn’t about giving up and falling down – defeated. This is allowing an acceptance of what is true – right now – and allowing life to unfold and blossom.

It’s a soft space for believing in the goodness of what is real irrespective of our expectations and judgements.

Surrender is the greatest state to be in and allows personal evolvement and enlightenment.

Surrendering to life is allowing things to turn out how they are meant to in the spirit of trust that it’s for our highest good.

Surrender means opening our arms wide to that deeply rooted feeling that is the ultimate trust in life.

Surrender seems to be the opposite of what we are used to: striving to hit targets so much that anything outside of that goal seems like self sabotage. At first, surrendering to life can feel rocky even destabilising. It seems natural to resist it and force things to happen because letting go goes against our instincts, which are to hang on for dear life.

In surrender we get out of our own way and experience a life of real freedom: freedom from our negative self-talk and belief. We cut through emotional blocks, expectations and judgements to discover that surrendering takes us to a place where everything starts to shift.

Surrender helps us to step into our life rather than being stuck in the past or transfixed on the future. Stepping into our life helps us to be ready to receive and embrace everything that is given to us.

The good, the bad and the ugly will be a part of this journey. By embracing each step with surrender as our lifeblood, real magic happens.


There is a Chinese proverb which exemplifies why accepting the good, the bad and the ugly is part of surrender.

There was an old farmer who ploughed his field with his also very old horse. One day the horse escaped his harness and disappeared into the countryside.

Everyone felt sorry for the old farmer because of his bad luck. And, as always, the farmer replied, ‘Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?’

The following day the horse returned with a herd of wild horses from the savannah renowned for their strength and intelligence. This time the farmer’s neighbors congratulated him on finding such a fantastic group of horses to help him attend his fields. The farmer replied, ‘Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?’

The following day the farmer’s son was attempting to tame one of the horses when it reared up and kicked him in the back. The son was badly injured and had to lie down for some months. Everyone sympathised with the farmer on his misfortune and he replied, ‘Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?’

The following day the farmer received a visit from an army-recruiting officer who had come to recruit his son into the army. When the officer saw that his son was injured and unable to work he went away. His friends were thrilled by his good fortune, since as his son was spared the army.

The farmer responded, ‘Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?’

Did you know you can lift your mood with food?

Here's an article which tells you how: What Food Relieves Depression?

How Do We Surrender?

Often we don’t look to surrender anything but we can come to a place of surrender in one of two ways: either through breaking down or through conscious choice.

1. We’re broken

Sometimes life can throw everything at us until we’re broken. It’s at these times we have to ask ourselves: What can I do? Where can I go? Who can I change?

If the answer is nothing, nowhere or no one, it’s at this moment that’s the only thing left is to surrender.

Surrender is our only choice most of the time. We usually have no control over situations and people and it’s often the case that all we do have is a control over how we see situations and others.

If we force situations and control other people to the very limit, we set ourselves up to go down in flames. This is when putting our arms in the air and surrendering to life becomes the ultimate acceptance.

2. We make a conscious choice

The second way we can surrender is through a conscious choice. Conscious, because we’ve made a decision to invite in surrender, as opposed to fighting life on our terms.

For anyone who’s experienced real surrender, you know that it’s a space full of peace and joy; you feel stronger, more connected and more in balance with everything around you.

It makes having a low mood for a few days acceptable and part of life’s give and take.

You may never learn to surrender because it’s not something you can capture. The feeling of surrender changes from moment to moment depending on what you’re dealing with. But the outcome is always the same: becoming ready to receive the abundance of life.


*** Please note this is not a replacement for an appointment with a medic and never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking medical treatment because of something you have read on or accessed through this web site***


My Agent: 

Fiona Lindsay, Limelight Celebrity Management

Tel: +44 (0)20 7384 9950

Email: fiona@limelightmanagement.com

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© 2020 Alexandra Massey