Are you distressed? I mean distressed with a capital 'D'? Sometimes there’s just no place to go when you feel that bad.
Let me give you three things that you can do to dissolve that distress in the next 24 hours.
In fact, I’ll make you a promise that if you do this today, you will wake up tomorrow and think a miracle has happened.
1. Deal With The Toxic People In Your Life
Toxic people create us a lot, lot, lot of distress. It doesn’t matter who they are, it’s the effect they have on us that we need to isolate and minimize.
Make A List
Make a list of the top five people who cause you distress, angst, stress and feelings of extreme powerlessness when you’ve done everything you can to straighten your relationship up but nothing’s worked.
These people all the people who you would say:
Is it wasn’t for them my life would be much easier
Why can’t they just leave me alone?
Or you find:
Their demands on you are too exhausting
They’re abusive towards you
They’re harsh with their criticism and judgement
Close your eyes and imagine a corral on a horse ranch. Direct those five people into the corral. They may walk in of their own accord that if they don’t imagine three ranchmen and you on horseback rounding them up and forcing them to walk into the corral.
Once they are in there, shut the gate and walk away.
We don’t need to get entangled with other people’s drama. Not only does it increase our cortisol levels so that we end up feeling stressed and out of control, it also takes us away from our peace. So now is the time to reclaim it.
The truth is we have no responsibility to other adults and we don’t need to engage with people we don’t wish to be around and we don’t need to listen to other people’s drama.
As hard as it is to step away from others and their drama, stepping away enables us to recognize that there is a purpose to getting involved in other people’s stuff: it takes us away from our own emptiness and feelings of lack.
Every time you feel distressed practise rounding up those people who cause you distress and remind yourself that they are safely locked in the corral.
Now it’s time to look at the space left inside you. Is it quiet? Is it free? Or is it excited?
The next step is to reconnect with our inner power to soften that space and quieten it into serenity.
2. Connect With Your Higher Power
This exercise is to help you to connect with your higher power. Your higher power holds your peace, wisdom and trust.
This is a meditation or visualization to help us do just that. If possible, record the following passage into a phone/PC because your own voice is the one you most connect with.
Sit or lie down in a comfortable, safe place and play it.
Breathe in and out and let yourself sink into your chair or bed. Thoughts will come into your mind ... do not fret, simply let them float away as quietly as they arrived ... just let them go ... do not hold on to them ... notice your breath coming in and out of your body ... be aware of it travelling through your nose or mouth ... take a deep breath and hold it ... hold it ... hold it more ... keep holding it ... and let it go ... and, as it goes, feel your body completely relax ... notice the worry lines in your forehead relax and soften ... see how your jaw line loosens and your cheek muscles just drop ... feel your throat relax and let the tension out of your chest cavity ... feel the muscles of your stomach drop and relax ... feel the whole weight of your body sink into your chair ... you have no worries or cares right now ... let them drift away with your thoughts ... you are in a lush, green forest ... smell the forest smell and see the damp green blanket sprinkled with sunbeams ... you are on the edge of a river ... this river is beautiful ... it is long and wide and as still as a mirror ... there is a boat by the side of the river ... step into this boat ... it has big, sumptuous pillows for you to sink into ... make yourself comfortable ... you hardly have time to settle and the boat starts to move very gently ... it is gliding along as a gentle swan ... it is being guided and you have nothing to fear ... just sit back and enjoy the beauty of your surroundings ... don’t worry if you cannot see them, just get a sense of being there ... all you can hear is the gentleness of trickling water as your boat moves along the flat river ... sit back and relax and feel the moment with no cares and no worries ... in the distance you can see land ... there is a beautiful island ahead of you ... the boat is heading towards the island ... it feels very peaceful and the nearer you get to the island, the more peaceful you feel ... you reach the island and step out of the boat ... there is a mist over the island ... it feels very safe ... it is the most beautiful place you have ever seen ... you are mesmerized by the beauty of the forest, the sound of water, the humming of the trees ... you feel safer than you have ever felt before ... you breathe in the crisp air and let yourself relax, down ... down ... down ... down into the safety of this island ... you see a light in the distance ... the light is tiny and just shines through the mist ... you can see it moving towards you ... as it gets closer, you can feel the energy coming from the light ... you can feel a beauty inside you ... the light is getting brighter now and the size is much greater ... as the light gets closer, it’s growing and growing and the energy you can feel from this light is like the love you have always longed for ... this feeling is filling you up and the circle of light is now the same size as you ... the brightness is beautiful and the beauty is filling every part of your body ... the light is right before you ... there are messages coming to you from the light ... ‘You are a beautiful person and I love you more than life itself ’ ... ‘I will always love you and protect you’ ... your higher power’s love fills you up even more ... walk towards the light and step into the light until it surrounds you ... let the warmth and love fill you up even more ... relax your stomach muscles to allow the love into every part of you ... drink the love and let everything else go ... nothing else matters right now ... fall into the arms of this love and light ... speak to your higher power and have a conversation with your higher power ... ... ... ... ...[take some time for this] ... ... ... now, step back from the light and let the love stay with you ... now your higher power has a message for you ... hold your hands out and allow your higher power to give you a ball of light ... take this light into your hands ... there is a message on the ball ... read it and, when you have finished, gently let the ball go upwards and float away ... it is time to leave this island ... step into the boat and let it guide you back to the forest ... know that you can come back to meet your higher power at any time you want ... I will count to three and on three you will wake up feeling refreshed, loved and at peace ...one, two, three.
3. Trust In The Universe
It was Albert Einstein who said,
'The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe.'
He went on to explain the meaning behind his quote and here’s what he said:
“For if we decide that the universe is an unfriendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to achieve safety and power by creating bigger walls to keep out the unfriendliness and bigger weapons to destroy all that which is unfriendly and I believe that we are getting to a place where technology is powerful enough that we may either completely isolate or destroy ourselves as well in this process. If we decide that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly and that God is essentially ‘playing dice with the universe’, then we are simply victims to the random toss of the dice and our lives have no real purpose or meaning. But if we decide that the universe is a friendly place, then we will use our technology, our scientific discoveries and our natural resources to create tools and models for understanding that universe. Because power and safety will come through understanding its workings and its motives.”
The mind-set that he describes isn’t rocket science. If we believe the universe is backing us, our emotions, thoughts and behavior will have us expect only good things to happen and when bad things happen, we know they too will pass.
The universe is a friendly place and in understanding this, we put down our defenses, which, in turn, help us to build better relationships with others. It helps us to trust in the future because worrying about what the future holds steals our peace in today.
Do these three things and make that miracle happen. Remember, that’s what the universe wants for you. XX